Once I Told the Truth …

“Nobody ever asked me what it was like to be me, but once I told the truth about that, I felt free.” ~ Aibileen, ‘The Help’

I remember the first time I ever saw this movie … its a good thing I grabbed lots of napkins in the lobby prior to because it turned out, I was gonna need them.  There were so many times in that movie that just grabbed my heart and squeezed.  I was crying.  My nose was running.  And then toward the end of the movie when Aibileen said, “Nobody ever asked me what it was like to be me, but once I told the truth about that, I felt free.” … I lost it.  It took all I had to not go into the ugly cry.  Why?  Because I did that and I felt the very same way.

No one ever asked me what it was like to be me … worse than that though is that no one I really cared about seemed to care about who I really was or how my mother treated me.  I didn’t even know who I really was because I was too busy trying to be who my mother wanted me to be.  I tried so hard doing that thinking it would buy her love, but it never did.  One thing I’ve learned on this journey is that, you cannot, no matter how hard you try, you cannot – CAN NOT – make someone love you.

Things came to a head with my family about four years ago.  I told the truth.  And, to my amazement, I finally felt free.  I was also alone.  I was rejected.  I was told verbatim from two family members on two different occasions, “We don’t want to hear about it and we don’t want to talk about it.”

As much as it hurt at the time, I knew in the deepest part of my gut that it was telling me that what I did was the right thing to do – to tell them the truth even if they didn’t want to hear it.  The turning point for me for doing that was realizing that while I feared being rejected by them, the reality was, they already had – years before then.

Telling the truth made me free. It was a burden lifted that was no longer mine to carry.

” … But once I told the truth about that, I felt free.”  And I was.  I still am.

Jesus said, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”  ~  John 8:36

~ Saoirse Quill

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