Narcissistic abuse … and more pointedly, abuse by someone exhibiting Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is dark. It’s insidious. Even diabolical … which makes it insanely painful. There is a lot of smearing and false accusations where truth is hard prove.
The narcissistic family that is ruled by the narcissist parent, in my case, its my mother, is the one who also rules and controls the family as a whole, on a level many cannot even begin to fathom. Although, thinking back and remembering things, I think my father too might have also been narcissistic, but he was never around a lot while I was growing up for me to really nail down that judgment. Anyway, the ones who kowtow to the narcissist are known as their enablers and they will stand up and defend the narcissist, who plays the victim while vilifying the true victim, which she claims is the abusive one. It’s sick and it’s twisted. It’s all a ‘she said/she said’ thing between a mother and a daughter.
Because of the dynamic of the narcissistic family, I have opted for a ‘pen name’ for this blog and for the book I am writing which I hope to publish … God willing. My pen name is … Saoirse Quill. I was praying while scrolling Pinterest, asking the Lord to reveal to me what name I should use and, then I saw it – ‘Saoirse‘ – the name is Irish (my heritage) and it means freedom. I needed a last name and what surname is more appropriate than ‘Quill‘ – a writing tool?! I needed a name to not only protect myself from any unwanted backlash, but also to protect myself from a legal standpoint. Doing this also gives me more freedom to be more transparent both on my blog and in the book I am writing about my life story – growing up in a narcissistic family with a narcissistic (NPD) mother and her brood of enablers (who unbenownst to them are, sadly, more like puppets on a string), and how God rescued me out of that.
I hope to post more in the future about more intimate things regarding narcissistic abuse and the dynamic of the narcissistic family.
~ Saoirse Quill
How to pronounce ‘Saoirse’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOdLTAgeuuk